Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize