literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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