Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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