You can't motorboat a personality
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
