Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
