So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
