the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
