She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
