***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
