ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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