went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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