Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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