In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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