i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
