the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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