My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
