GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
