Dual....:-)
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
