I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You smell like stripper and shame
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
