It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
