Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
