Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
