If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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