Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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