Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
