the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
