His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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