so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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