All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
