her vagine was all disorganized.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
