We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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