She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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