just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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