It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
