Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
