i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
two words...techno handjob
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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