She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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