Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize