I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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