And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize