I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
