Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
