I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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