We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
