Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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