try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
