4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
