we have officially lost it.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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