Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Randomize
