turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
