fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Alive.
So much puke
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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