there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
