You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
