sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize