Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
