dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This is classic penis vs brain.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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