Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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