Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
