she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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