A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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