gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
