We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
