the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
