We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
