i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
