i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
