I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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