4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
