I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize