So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
