all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
