i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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